All Knowing Burrito


Not every day in my life can be dedicated to getting out and moving to the grove in my running shoes. I deem these days as Mondays.

It is not an arbitrary choice. On the contrary, it is a very logical day to rest. It is the day I hang out with the gals.

They love to talk about guys, and fashion, not to mention what was going on last weeks episode of Glee. There is about a hundred of them, all with more energy then the Energizer, and they are love getting your attention.

Most sixth graders do.

For the last several years I spend one night a week hanging out with these rockstar preteens, who actually inspired me to start running again. The youth group that I mentor focuses a lot around leading a well balanced life; physically, mentally, socially, and religiously.

And three years ago I was sitting in one of our group discussions talking about how important each of those aspects are when I realized that I was a major hypocrite. How could I talk about being a balanced individual, if I was sorely lacking in one of those areas?

And that sparked my journey to start running again and being a healthy individual. But that is a story for another time. Today it is all about the annual Halloween Carnival.

The Carnival

A few years ago I was asked if I would mind being a psychic for the festivities. It was all in fun, because I am far from being all knowing. I dressed up with crazy hair and makeup, brought in some candles, and mentally prepared to channel my inner aura.

The kiddos would come in groups of three or four and I would begin off with something like, "I feel like one of you has a crush" and inevitably three of the girls would turn to their friend and start pointing fingers while giggling. Bingo. I was in and the stage was set.

I was asked questions about where they were going to go to college, what they were going to be, and when they would get married. My answers were more of life suggestions, such as, "You won't get married until after college," and, "I think you will gain some valuable experiences studying abroad."

Interestingly enough, I would get a lot of things right on the head and their eyes would get big.

"You are going to try out for the soccer team in high school," I said to one girl.

"How did you know that?" the girl looked at me in shock.

Giving a sideways glance at soccer uniform she was using as her Halloween costume, "You have a strong energy."

The fun would go on, and had a lot of kiddos convinced I was really psychic. So much so that the next day one mom called into the youth group coordinator and asked if she could have my number so she could hire me for her daughter's birthday party.

And so the tradition has continued for the last four years. Over that time I have a ranking of the most frequently asked questions a sixth grade girl would like to know about her future.

7. Will I have a nice house?

6. Will I be rich?

5. Will my husband have a six-pack? (No joke, you have no idea how frequently this was asked)

4. Where am I going to go to college?

3. What am I going to be when I grow up?

2. When will I have kids? (Followed up by) How many/what gender will I have?

1. When will I get married?

Interesting how sixth grade girls have a lot of the same questions I do.


The All Knowing Burrito

The all-knowing Clarkie knows she has to fuel properly for this night. Approximately two hours of seeing into the future is exhausting. For this particular occasion I went with the ground turkey burrito. Warmed the wheat tortilla in the toaster oven, spread some green leaf lettuce across the spine. Grated good ol' Wisconsin cheddar cheese, spread the turkey, and topped with Annie's Cowgirl Ranch dressing.


How did it get its name and how this relates to the Halloween Carnival. The answer is actually quite simple. Just like I am all knowing, the burrito is "all knowing" because I know I am going to eat all of it.

I may have also snatched some tootsie rolls from the candy basket at my table. But I may have already known that was going to happen. That's what happens when you are all knowing like myself.

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